Skip to main content

Once upon a time....

Yesterday, Mark had meetings in Dubai, so I took the opportunity to bag a free lift to the big smoke and have a day hanging out at The Dubai Mall. While having a good 'ol mooch I passed the Stylist Arabia stand and picked up my free copy. Now, I have seen the latest issues' cover, going around on social media and was so happy that I had actually managed to pick myself up a copy. The cover being...

'Once upon a time, there was a woman in Dubai. She was over 30, not in a relationship, and she didn't have children.... she lived happily ever after.' Stylist Arabia

Instantly when I read this, I smiled a knowing smile and couldn't wait to read the article. Now, I know this doesn't completely apply to me, as I am married, but the over 30 and having no children part does.

So many times over the years, when I meet people, the conversation questions are pretty much, Do you work? Me, 'No'. Oh, Do you have children then? Me, 'No'. Then the head tilt and sympathetic expression appears, like I'm sort of leper that has no reason to be on this earth. Then said person moves on, as they obviously feel they cannot continue a conversation or think they can engage with me. (Oh and the constant questions from taxi drivers! Yes my friends, taxi drivers telling me, I should have children, lot's of them!)

When I was younger I always assumed, I would grow up, get married, have children, as that's what society makes you believe you should do.

As I've got older, I've realized that, it's not what you 'have' to do. Now, I'm not knocking having children, because I'm sure it's a lovely experience etc, if that's what you want, but for me and Mark, it's not. Full stop. It is just not what we see in our future and basically, not what we want. And I don't think we should have to apologize for our decisions. Like the women in the article. Being a successful thirty-something women is nothing to be ashamed of, it should be celebrated!

Similar to the article talking about women leaving their homes for Dubai, to escape the harrowing stigma of 'getting married, having children'. We kind of did the same. We left the UK for an overseas adventure, basically for a better life and so we could enjoy ourselves and spend more time together. Our jobs back in the UK (I was Cabin Crew & Mark an Aircraft Engineer) even though they were good jobs, we were literally 'ships passing in the night'. Now, that's not what it's all about.

I know many people think, because I don't work, I should be having children, but why? Why should I be having children. I have two beautiful cats (queue the crazy cat lady chorus!) that I love and they are my babies. I have my blog, (be it not that popular, but I love it!),  my lovely husband, and a great life.

Quoting my husband, he always says to me 'you have my dream life'. I feel, I am so very lucky and approaching 33, I am happier then ever and I am going to stop apologizing, making excuses and feeling less 'worthy' for not working or having children, because it's my life and I am, 'living happily ever after'.

At the end of the day, we are all different, we all want different things and that's what makes life interesting. Judging women on their life choices needs to stop, as what one women wants, is completely different to the other. Let's all 'live and let live'!

Heather x x


  1. Thought-provoking article cover! True, people should respect other people's life choices.

    1. Hi Patricia, Thank you for commenting... Totally agree!

  2. Great post hun. I think there is so much pressure on women to have what is known as the 'perfect' life, husband, home, kids etc etc but the perfect life is what you want for yourself NOT what society says you should have. As long as you are happy that is what matters. If we women were all the same the world would be a boring place! As you know we have two kids, and they have fulfilled our lives in more ways than I could ever explain, but that DOES NOT make us two any different, apart from me being a 'bit' older than you and I for one can't wait to meet you, Mark and your 'babies' one day. Hopefully in our beloved Spain xx

    1. Aww thanks Steph, you brought a tear to my eye lol! Oh we will definitely meet one day!! I can't wait!!! x x


Post a comment

More on the blog...

Mil Palmeras

Happy Thursday guys, hope you're all well. I'm just popping on here to show you a few pictures I snapped quickly today while we were at Mil Palmeras Beach. We popped to Mercadona this morning, well more lunchtime(ish) as we are sleeping in so much lately, but that's for another day. So, we picked up a few bits for the weekend and grabbed one of their sushi boxes for our lunch on the go. fyi , the best supermarket sushi I've had! After our trip to Mercadona we headed for Leroy Merlin in La Zenia as we needed to get some more bags of sand and some gravel too for our little diy garden project. I say little, but it's turning into quite the construction! Keep an eye on my  insta stories   over the weekend for updates. En-route to Leroy's we stopped off at Mil Palmeras to eat our sushi by the sea. Mil Palmeras has always been one of our favourite places here on the Costa Blanca South. Actually it was one of the first places we went to after the lockdown last year.  To

Blogging tips ~ Basic/Beginner

~ Disclaimer - this post is just a light hearted look at the very basic blogging tips. I do not have high DA or high stats, but I thought some of the things I have picked up over years may be helpful. Even if just one person takes one thing I've shared as useful info, then this post is worthwhile. This post also contains affiliate links ~ I'm laughing at myself a little bit writing this post as I want to be very clear that I'm not an award winning blogger, I don't have a high da score and I don't really have many page views at the moment. You're probably wondering to yourself why am I even writing this post if I'm not a far flung award winning blogger? Well, this is it. I call myself a blogger, because well I have a blog and I document stuff. I've had my blog for over eight years now and even though I haven't had a breakthrough (yet) I have picked up a couple of things along the way. I have also been asked before by friends about starting a blog, so

How to do your cars ITV/MOT in Spain

  ~ Disclaimer - this post is not associated with any ITV centres in Spain or anything that they maybe connected with them. I am also not a car mechanic of any sorts and I would always advise to seek professional advice. This post is simply sharing my experience of an ITV ~ It's that time when Marks car is due it's ITV, which is similar to the UK's MOT. In Spain your car has it's first ITV check when it's 4 years old. Then every 2 years up until the car is 10, then it's checked every year. When living in another country and not really knowing the lingo, these type of things can seem a little daunting at times and it may feel easier to just throw money at things to get someone to do it for you.  Which I think happens a lot when it comes to getting your cars ITV. A lot of garages offer a service where they will do a pre-itv check and then take your car to the test centre and do it for you. Sounds great doesn't it. Which it is don't get me wrong at all, it&